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Father Christmas

Posted on: March 1 2019

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Father Christmas

What’s Happening in December with Father Christmas

What attracted you to working as Father Christmas?

Well I’m incredibly judgmental, so overseeing who goes on the naughty and nice list is something that really appealed to me. I always start off doing it fairly; you know, Clementine on this list, Damien on that list etc.… but then I tend to jumble it up after a few Brandy’s. That’s the thing with the North Pole, you have to create your own entertainment.

What gives you the most satisfaction in your job?

The selfless giving to others.

Ha! No. Behave. No, it’s when the sleigh speeds up, I put my head back, feel the wind in my hair and pretend I’m starring in a Loreal advert. Cries of “Ho Ho Ho… Because I’m worth it” echo across the nights sky. It’s truly magical.

What advice can you give to individuals looking for jobs right now?

As an employer myself, I love it when miniature people come to me and say they’ll work 364 days per year so that the big guy (AKA me) can do just the 1 day. I don’t think there is a boss in the world who wouldn’t go for that pitch. Give it a go.

What are you most looking forward to this year?

Every year once I’ve sobered up after Christmas, I get together with Frosty the Snowman, Guy Fawkes and some of the Halloween lads and we throw all the leftover mince pies at the Easter Bunny.

What’s your favourite brand?

I like all Brandy.

Ooooh brand you say? Sorry my hat was covering my ears.

Err probably Apple. The whole ‘making people think they need new phones when they don’t’ has been a real game changer for me. Nowadays everyone just wants these little lightweight presents every year. It makes my life easier and it stops Rudolph moaning about his sciatica. If Sony brought out a bulky new PlayStation each year I would seriously kick off. In fact, I’ve exchanged words with them in the past, but that’s another story. Don’t get me started.

What music makes you feel most creative at work?

Arctic Monkeys.

That’s also a nickname I use for the Elves. Not to their face obviously because they’re very sensitive. I deliberately took on a load of millennial Elves this year because I thought the whole snowflake thing would work well up here.

But no, if anyone asks, I said Slade. On repeat. It’s Christmaaaaasssss! God I hate that.

What quote inspires you the most?

“Don’t work hard or smart, work magic.”

Right will that do? I don’t usually speak to Recruiter’s and it’s going to cost you another bottle of Brandy if you want anymore out of me. Oh, and don’t post this online will you? Elves I can deal with, trolls I can’t.

By Father Christmas (with a little bit of help from Shane Frost :-))